Monday, May 23, 2005


Colossians 2
6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Yesterday was the meal in the church hall in aid of Adrienne and me for heading off to uganda and india - I was totally amazed with what happened in that Hall over the few hours - the number of people who came along the sheer numner of supporters who said taht they would be praying for us, its just so amazing.

Uganda is now paid for! - which is brilliant - praise God!

A few more hours this week and my project will be up to scratch - bring it on!

Trying now to find a job - one that will allow me the whole month of July off .... mmmm difficult but as with anything - "guide me"

Thursday, May 19, 2005

1 to go

Dear Blog

Today I am realising the importance of time. Today I went to see someone about the exam that is coming up - I was told taht he was really busy and could only spare a couple of minutes if it was quick. Time is a precious commodity it needs to be used sensibly.

I really need to learn that if someone wants my help, if someone whoever it is somes and asks can I speak to you - the reply needs to be yup!

You dont know if tehre is more than you can see in that person - see what I mean!

A lesson learnt - well better go and learn a bit more after tea from the database text books

Now on the homeward leg of the degree - roll on 12 noon

Pam, Ryan and myself are heading out for a bite in the Lodge - it will be sooo good not to have the databases hanging over my head. BRING IT ON!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

REVISION BLUES 3 more days

Today I woke up - to a room covered in piles of pages - all in the name of revision - advanced Databases - its a night mare - loads of things to do loads of terms, theories, manifestos and such like but the good good news is that it is very nearly over! ROLL On Friday.

Well I'd better head on here - sitting in teh library 3 more days to go. I simply cannot wait :-)

Thursday, May 12, 2005

1 Day to Go

Today has been really good - a lot of work done - sitting here in the library finished 3 past papers and chillin' now. This revision is good. On Saturday I am planning for a break - may do a bit of programming and design for teh SU site - It will be sooo good.

At the min my head is full of stupid stuff like


The hypothetico - deductive reasoning process

Clavier CBR System

Partial Plans

Similarity Measures ...

mmmmmm... Interesting stuff -> It'll soom be over BRING IT ON!

On Monday from UCB


Christian leader John Bisagno says, 'Faith is at the heart of life. You go to a doctor whose name you cannot pronounce, he gives you a prescription you cannot read, you take it to a pharmacist you don't know, he gives you medication you don't understand - and you take it.' That's faith! What could be worse than not having faith in God? When something good happens, who would you give thanks to? When something bad happens, who would you run to? If you wait until you can explain God, you'll never turn to Him. F.B. Mayer before he went to be with the Lord said, 'Unbelief puts our circumstances between us and God. But faith puts God between us and our circumstances.' Who wouldn't like to have the Creator of the universe helping them!

How can people go through exams ... trials or whatever without God - Thank you for being there / here for me in all. Praise you

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

2 Days to go - Exam 1

with two days to go until the first of the exams I am really looking forward to getting them over and done with. For this one at least things seem to be falling into place as for the other one known as databases I am not sure - but maybe with a weeks work it might do the same.

However I did get to thinking about the hours I have surfed away in these labs over the past few days - trying to do anything else but revise - its mad. Right now it has come to a head when I found myself on Take a look throgh the stuff its mad what people will do!

Anyway until next time


Method of exercising a cat
In 1993 the USPTO issued this patent for using a laser pointer to exercise a cat (yes, by moving the laser pointer beam around and having the cat chase it). Come on now... Not only is this crazy to patent, but this idea had surely been thought of long before this patent came about. In fact, a bit of research turned up the book "One Hundred and Eighty-Seven Ways to Amuse a Bored Cat" (Ballantine Books; May, 1982) that describes the exact same idea, but using a flashlight. Sorry guys -- the use of a laser pointer for the same thing is obvious.
Religious Meditation Apparatus
A bird feeder shaped like a church, so that you can watch the birds as you pray.
Light Bulb Changer
How many machines does it take to change a light bulb? Come on now, who is going to buy a machine, that looks like it weighs 100 pounds and costs plenty, to change light bulbs. How would one even get this contraption up to a light bulb?
Eating counter apparatus for mobile vending vehicle
This guy must have been sitting around with a hotdog cart, a park bench, and a welding torch, and decided he needed to patent something using only these three things.
Ballistic resistant body covering
From the picture, one would guess that this is a super hero costume which purports to protect the wearer from bullets. All I can do here is to pray for the test engineers. Good luck pals.
Tamper Resistant Institutional Shoe And Method
A shoe with a transparent sole to prevent concealing contraband. Don't laugh just yet -- these might be required on planes soon!
Inclining coffin
I'm not sure why anyone wants a dead person sitting upright, but even the person who patented this says it is spooky.
Hands free towel carrying system
A towel with a neck loop. Seriously -- that's all it is. And it took until 2004 to patent such a thing. I wonder what other amazing inventions remain to be discovered???
Pillow with retractable umbrella
A pillow, with a built-in umbrella to protect the user from the sun. Somehow the idea of having a tanned body and a ghostly white head doesn't appeal to me, but whatever floats your boat.
Chin Putter
The funny thing about this is that I think the authors take it seriously? it does not seem to be a novelty item.
Mouse device with a built-in printer
The title is pretty self-explanatory. Yes, it takes very small paper. Maybe it could serve as a label maker -- that's about all I can think of.
Keeps the sun off your beer (no, I am not kidding). One would think that those little insulating sleeves would be much more effective, but perhaps they were worried about their beer getting sunburned.
Stud Spectacles
Eyeglasses that don't need a frame because they attach to body piercings on the face. Yeah?
Method of swinging on a swing
So these fools think that in all the years of swinging no one has ever before thought to pull on the opposite chains and swing form side to side? Well, I guess they got the PTO to issue the patent, so I'm not sure who the fool really is... But, even so, what do these guys expect to do with this anyway? Are they going to go around and collect royalties from kids on the playground?
User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
I'm not sure if this is a comedy prop or what. I do know one thing however: someone has a lot of time on their hands.
Vehicle mounted toilet seat
Being a bit of a outdoorsman I would like to give the creator of the Vehicle mounted toilet seat a bit of advice, people who go into the woods don't mind going to the bathroom in the woods. This guy just took a toilet seat, which has been around for a while, and strapped it on the back of a car.
Halloween Mask with Flash Device
This guy took a Halloween mask, strapped a light on it and called it a new invention. I know that Halloween is a relatively new holiday compared to some of the others, but I do recall seeing glowing masks well before this patent existed. In fact, I had a Jason mask that glowed when you pushed a button. I bet I know the next patent this guy submitted. He took a tree and stuck some lights and decorations on them and called it a "Christmas Tree." Pure genius.
Motorized ice cream cone
I am usually a proponent of anything that allows me to do less work, but everyone knows that the best part of eating an ice cream cone is eating the cone and ice cream at the end!
Mouthguard made at least partially from an edible candy
A mouth guard made from gummy candy... Maybe this guy is a dentist who wants to promote tooth decay to help his business.
Pet display clothing
A wearable Habitrail! This is a system of tubes that you can wear around, while your hamster crawls around in them. I have yet to see anyone wearing this, so I am guessing that it wasn't a smashing success at the pet stores (or clothing stores?).
Halloween Backpack
A backpack that dispenses candy! I'm sure this will be a hot seller at Walmart.
Kissing Shield
"The present invention proposes a method and device in which a flexible membrane is used as a kissing shield to lessen one's chances of becoming infected by disease from casual contact." Yeah, and it's very romantic too. These must be hot items on the bar scene.
Method and apparatus for making a drink hop along a bar or counter
This is essentially the same as the fountains that Disney has at Epcot -- controlled streams of water designed to look like that are "jumping" (in this case, into a beer glass). But hey, this probalby IS amusing when you are drunk!
Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter
An air freshener system for your drawers. Right. I can understand how an untimely fart in a professional or romantic situation could be embarrassing, but I think its time to practice what we big-boys call self-control. If this isn't an option perhaps it's time to see a doctor.
Carvable Artificial Pumpkin and Method
Who ever said creativity is dead in America? No one who knows the patenter of the Carvable Artificial Pumpkin. This guy took a hollow Styrofoam ball (that may or may not be painted orange) and called it a new invention. Somehow this reminds me of that Saturday Night Live skit with Dan Akroyd playing the crazy defective toy maker. I can just see this product coming with a big butcher's knife for the carving and maybe a bag of glass and nails for this kids to play with.
Paddle Wheel Plane
Does this thing really fly??? I'd be amazed.
Subliminal Glasses
Glasses that project subliminal images? They claim to ge a possible aid for everything from quitting smoking, stopping drug and alcohol abuse, and learning. Yeah, because the submliminal tapes that are available work so well?
Smokers Hat
A hat with an air intake, which filters and then expels the air. Looks pretty much like wearing the exhaust hood for a stove on your head.
Electrostatically Enhanced Game
Unless you take some pleasure out of being shocked or shocking someone else, the Electrostatically Enhanced Game is not for you. I personally could find some joy in shocking my buddy while beating him at Madden, but unfortunately I don't think this is an original invention. I seem to recall a James Bond flick that had a video game like that, and that's kind of sad ripping off Bond.
Power Operated Separable Beds and Support Therefore
Again we see that American ingenuity is still running strong. Really all this guy did was get two beds and put them on a track that lets you move them. While I appreciate the touch of a button convenience, is it that hard to sleep next to someone? Besides we all know that its not going to get you out of cuddling.
Tricycle Lawnmower
No, you aren't misreading anything. This really is a child's tricyle with a lawnmower attached. Real safe, eh?
Non-lethal cock fighting system
Cock fighting is illegal in the US (except for Louisiana and 1 other state as one of our readers has pointed out). So, these geniuses probably just drew attention to the fact that they are breaking the law. While this is a ridiculous patent, it did give me a idea for my next patent: A Kangaroo Kickboxing Kit.
Anti-Eating Mouth Cage
Just think Hannibal Lecter?
Device For Moistening The Adhesive Coating On Postage Stamps and Envelopes
Describes a device containing an applicator to moisten stamps. Check out this quote: "The applicator may be in the form of a human tongue?" Boy, that's novel.
Animal Ear Protection
A device for protecting the ears of animals, especially long-haired dogs, from becoming soiled by the animal's food while the animal is eating. Ok, your pet might look better without dirty hair, but it's going to look pretty dumb wearing this thing.

Friday, May 06, 2005


Over the past 24hrs polls have closed, votes have been counted and people have been awarded places within westminster. TV cameras have been at leisure centres throughout the province.

In the "new order of things within Northern Ireland " it will be very interesting to see what happen. We need to get the way forward for all people within Northern Ireland.

Worship - a daily thing

Tonight I have been totally challenged, stretched and generally just astonished.

In the review of where we are going as a parish I went along with a few people from our chuch over to Emmanuel Fellowship in Lurgan and had my mind blown away with the things God is doing in that place. But more than the programmes that are in place the sheer passion of the people involved in that place really shone through.

In Banbridge we cannot aim to have a church like Lurgan - why? because that's not who we are but what we can learn from that place is to look at ourselves, our local community, our congregation and to find out what people need. Some of the stuff that might be of relevance

  • Alcoholism
  • Divorce
  • Counselling
  • After school Activity provision
  • Drugs Abuse
  • Door to Door Programmes
  • Youth pastor going into schools work
  • Activities inter church
  • Allowing people to identify their own gifts
  • Youth programmes for all Ages
  • Youth worship not necessarily on a sunday
  • Bible Study
  • The Recuitment of full time staff
  • The use of Technology
  • Looking beyond our doors

There is definately a challenge to bring the love of God to those within our community - those who would not normally darken the doors of the church. People who are passionate about God (not the church) but people who are prepared to do their bit in whatever way they can.

I was really challenged during the worship time

"I an coming back to the heart of worship and its all about you"

Everything we do in the church has to be totally prayed about, totally surrunded in prayer.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

election week

Just a quick post - this week has been absolutely hectic loads of revision being done. I have been learning quite a bit about teaching styles - especially between our two lecturers this semesters.

Spent last night with the worship committee that has been set up at church - interesting meeting I am really glad that we are talking.

Tonight is Parish Prayers - I just hope that there will be a few more people there than last months. Its election day - surely we all need to pray that the people will get in that will make a difference to this provience - we need to catch ourselves on and get local government back to NI - Last night there was a headline of 500 teaching jobs being lost.

Tomorrow sees a visit to a youth group in Lurgan - this will hopefully see a step forward as to what is possible within church work.

Saturday I am making my deadline for revision the rest of the time will be preparing past paper answers

Well that will do for now

tata for now