Dark Winter Days ... Blue Monday

I don't know if it's the dark winter days ... if its the lack of sunshine ... the bad news on our screens ... the television programmes which are sapping our time. ... I don't quite know what it is but what I do know is that many of my friends around Ireland and UK at the moment are suffering and also just generally in society in the UK and Ireland there seems to be a season of grey ness, messy-ness and general need of something to lift the darkness.

As somebody who is in no way a counsellor or trained any way in this stuff ... but I am concerned about these issues as they impact people I know ... and also it is something which I know the Bible has a lot to say on the topic of life and meaning, purpose and vitality of life I wanted to make a comment here at this point in the year - According to somebody ... This monday coming is Blue Monday ... the most depressing day of the year... I got to ask... how can we work through depressing of whatever magnitude?

There are loads and loads of stuff on the internet ... some by people who are qualified to comment, some who have been on the journey through depression and some like myself who are looking on, knowing friends who are struggling with stuff of whatever kind and wanting to help in some small way.

In dark days ... the natural thing to do is want to turn the light on ... but for those who are struggling trying to find the light switch is difficult.

Those who are professional in this tell us that depression can set in for all sorts of reasons - worries, concerns about the present, relationship stuff in the past as well as concerns about the future

We are also told that there are other factors such as lack of sunshine, nutritional, our own gene makeup as well as many other factors. And it is usually a complete mix and mess of many of these and other  things together. So with all of this what can we do?

It is not easy ... but somehow we need to work though it.

I'm someone who knows about mess ... my friends from Theological College will testify to that! ... "Messy Monsters" used to invade my room when I wasn't looking and I struggled to keep clothes in the wardrobe, paper off the floor, books on the shelves and all the rest. But some days would come when I would go on a massive clean up ... some days it was sorting, some days it was a panic ... perhaps a staff member was doing an inspection

I definitely preferred the days when it was a sorting day ... a day which I set aside to do the sorting ... taking time to put particular things in particular places ... A day when I could decide what to throw out, a day when I could deal with stuff which I had left and not dealt with as they should have been dealt with. A day where windows could be open and every thing returned from whence it came.

The Panic days were crazy ... they ended up stuffing things in cupboards, mugs ended up in drawers, books in wardrobes, clothes in bin bags and all sorts of things all over the place. The Panic days were crazy ... things did get dealt with ... to those who arrived in ... everything looked like it was sorted but in the back of my mind I knew ... actually all the work I had done would have to be undone at some stage and I'd have to start all over again.

I don't know if this makes any sense ... but I wonder ...

I wonder if we need to set aside days when we can deal with stuff ... to allow ourselves space and time to sort out things which need sorted out. Days when we can pin point the things ... specifically we need to deal with ... name them and leave them where they need left.

I wonder if we need to make changes ... for some people it might mean taking up new stuff which excites them, putting into our routines time to be with friends, to do stuff which ensures that we do things which challenges.

I wonder if we need to use the rich gifts which God provides in a systematic way - to cling to the promises which he gives us in his word.

I wonder if we need to put in place some "rule of life" structures to help us deal with the stuff which is going on ... a framework for life ... Including maybe  ... daily Bible Study ... Time with Friends ... Meals at set times ... limiting the TV we watch ... Going on retreat ... Getting Sufficient sleep... Time with family ... Journalling ... whatever it may be ... simply to get some sort of structure into our lives... watching our negativity and seeing how we can turn the negative thoughts we all have from time to time into positives.

I also wonder if we sometimes are too hard on ourselves ... if we strive for perfection and beat ourselves up when we fail to live that perfection.

THE PANIC CLEAR UP DAYS

These days don't (always?) work ... yes there are deadlines but things are forced where they shouldn't be ... structures are undermined and sometime later they will burst out ... try finding the car keys after a panic clear up ... they'll always be in the last place you look!

As I write this stuff - I am challenging myself as well ... There definitely are structures in my own life which need to be strengthened ... things which I need to sort out ... I just wonder if you/I were to name a couple of things ... which need sorted out over the next couple of weeks what would they be.

Yes the student room ... one room could be tidied in a day ... usually a couple of hours would do it if I set aside the time to do it - yes usually there was something better to do but once it's done - its done.

Unfortunately its not usually the case that things can be tidied in such a short period of time ...  as we think of mess which has taken months and years to accumulate may need to take time. But I do think it might be taking a room/ a drawer at a time to name and deal with before we approach something else.

A challenge ... what stuff do we need to deal with? why not get a friend to pray/talk with you about general stuff and also particular things you need to deal with so that Blue Monday can be used for good and positive things.


I of course, as a committed Christian come to this topic from a prayerful perspective ... but realise that not all readers / friends share my understanding of life however I do believe that the principles are the same ... and many of my thoughts on this topic are guided by general stuff I have been reading on various websites and books.

I'm very happy to continue discussion of this topic either via email, Facebook or Blog comments or face to face if you happen to be in the Cork / Blarney area for coffee or a dander.

Regards

Robert



There are places to find more information

In Northern Ireland there is a  great website from the Public Health Agency - http://mindingyourhead.info/

In Ireland there is a similar site - http://www.yourmentalhealth.ie/

For those who need to chat to people there are always the Samaritans - http://www.samaritans.org/


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Minding your head website suggest these things ...



Making lasting changes to your health can be hard.
Here are some steps that can help.

Choose what you want to change. Be SMART - set, and write down, goals that are:

Specific - Rather than ‘get fit’, a better goal would be ‘to take a brisk walk after lunch on  Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays’.

Measurable - Set goals that can be measured. ‘Get fit’ is hard to measure, but it’s easy to know if you walked for half an hour on Monday, Wednesday and Friday or not.

Achievable - Start small and set goals that are within your reach.

Relevant -Choose changes that make sense for you.

Timely - Set a target date. Without one, it’s easy to put off making the change.  And give yourself a (healthy!) treat when you achieve a goal.